I Have Been Given A Gift

Good evening, everyone! Well it’s Friday night and I can’t help but be a little honest with you all.

I am sitting here on my couch, in my polka dot PJ pants (my favorite) wearing an over-sized t-shirt. In fact, it’s probably my husbands — anyway, just so you know I am being honest and to give you a better idea of what my life is right now…

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See? I would never lie to you. Remember that.

My house is a mess. Like a disaster zone and to be even more honest — I don’t even care. The kids and Jaime are watching a movie. All is quiet… well with the exception of Zootopia drowning out the crickets.

Even Zoey, our lovable family pup is cuddle up on the couch being completely still and silent. Which is a rare, since she is a pup and is usually up wandering the house causing chaos.

This. Is. Perfection.

Well, my idea of perfection, anyway.

If someone told me that this is what I would be doing in my 30s, I would have believed them. That’s right — I would have believed them.

My favortie orphan, Anne Shirley says it best.

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And in my life, the “you” that Anne Shirley is talking about is my family.

I always knew that the one thing I was going to be was a mother. That has always been my biggest goal.

Sure it’s nice to have places to go, travel the world and do all kinds of amazing things but in this moment in my life I am perfectly content with this! This is what I wanted.

I have been given more blessings and opportunities than I ever deserved.

And when I look at this photo, I know that I really do have everything that I need.

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We had our family photos done a couple of nights ago and it’s funny how seeing your family in photos really puts things into perspective for you.

What have I been given?

My husband, Jaime, who works so hard for his family.

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I am not just saying this because he is my husband — he is the hardest working man I know. A man who works 6 nights a week and never complains. He understands that he has a job to do and has an unbelievable sense of responsibility. You just don’t find this very often anymore. I admire him for all he does for us.

My children, Ava and Douglas. The two lights of my life.

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I’d like to take just a moment and give you my perspective on motherhood.

I am far from a perfect mother. No one is. I have days where I lose my cool and come unglued. Days where, if I am being honest, I wish that I could pack them up and send away for just a few hours.

**If you say you have never had these feelings as a mother, you’re probably lying and these feelings don’t make you a monster, they make you human.

But then there are times, moments when your children look at you like you are the only thing that matters. Their eyes say that you are their everything. I hope that they never lose sight of this feeling for me.

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Side note — In the teenage years, I am sure they won’t look at me the same, but I am OK with that. I am not here to be their friend.  Besides I still have some time before that happens.

In reality, though — that’s just it. I love my children more than life itself, but I am the mother. I am the one that needs to be the grown up, a pillar of strength and dignity. Not a buddy or pal. There will be plenty of time when they are adults for me to be their friend — that time is not now. 

I love my children so much that if I could, I would move Heaven and earth for them. I would give them their dreams and their wishes. This is not reality, though. You cannot possibly give your children everything they want. You can’t look at your child and tell them they will never feel hurt, disappointment or regret. You cannot shelter them from reality.

You can’t lie to them and tell them that there is no evil in this world and that they will never be subject to it. Lying to your children does them no service.

Naturally, I am going to protect my children’s innocence as long as I can, but I strongly believe in being real with them.

I will tell my kids that you can’t be good at everything and that you won’t always be #1. There will be other kids that can do things better than them — that’s just life. It’s real. Kid’s do not need their egos boosted all the time. Don’t mistake this for me being a mean mom.

If my kids do something very well, I believe in praising them. First and foremost, I believe in giving praise where praise is due.

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I encourage my children to excel in the areas where I know they are great. If they are passionate about something and they really want to do it, but they need to practice, I tell them, “You want to be better? You need to practice.”

Hard work and dedication do pay off. There are those people, where things just seem to come easy to them but reality is, we don’t know their whole story.

I am not going to focus on someone else’s story.

I’m living my story and at the end of the day if my children fail, it will be no one’s fault but my own.

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The reason for this and in looking at these photos, I realized just how much my littles rely on me. They need me to guide them and teach them how to be the best people they can be. Honestly, I could care less if my children grow up to be world renowned scholars and geniuses. Sure, schooling is important, I am not saying that it isn’t but for my children, I want their virtues to come first. Kindness, patience, charity, and humility are at the top of my list for my children. Focus on these and you will see that other things will quickly fall into place.

These are attitudes that I believe the world is severely lacking and it’s no secret.

I can’t change the world but I can certainly shape my own children.

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This isn’t going to be easy and I know that I will need to make some changes of my own but that’s what being a mother is all about.

For starters, I am severely lacking in the patience department, I can admit that about myself.

This new mission starts today. I won’t be the best mom in the world, because I believe that is a role none of us mere mortals can fill, however, I will work harder every day at being the mother that my children need.

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I don’t look at motherhood as some competition with some glorious prize or trophy to be won. There are no awards, medals or even a pat on the back. We don’t need these things. We’ve already been given our prize — our children.

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I am going to cherish the “prizes” that I have been blessed with.

I get one shot to get this right and raising my children to be beacons of light in this scary world of ours is my goal.

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Feel free to share your thoughts on all this in the comments below!

Holly

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